099: 10 Ways To Stay Stuck In Your Nursing Career
10 Ways To Stay Stuck In Your Nursing Career
In this episode, I explored the 10 ways in which nurses stay stuck in their careers. Drawing from my own experiences, I highlighted some common patterns that may hinder professional growth and satisfaction.
By being mindful of these 10 ways in which nurses may get stuck in their careers,I encourage you to take proactive steps toward professional fulfillment and growth.
Make today the day you choose to get unstuck.
Key takeaways:
01:12 - Believe you have absolutely no options
02:01 - Tolerate bad management
02:59 - Overwork yourself
05:57 - Always allow yourself to be overlooked
09:27 - Blame everyone else for why you're there
11:45 - Assume that your manager knows exactly what you want
12:58 - Wait for your turn
14:35 - What should be vs. what actually is
15:42 - Remove all aspects of play in your life
17:32 - Prioritizing the needs of others more than your own
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**This transcript was automatically generated using Descript.**
Liam Caswell: the reason that you will stay stuck in your job is that you will prioritize other people's needs and you won't give yourself what you need and you will just build this level of resentment that will just keep building in your career.
Hello and welcome back to the podcast. I hope that you are well today. Today I'm coming to you with 10 ways that you are stuck in your nursing career. Now, I'm having a bit of a play today because I thought that it'd be fun to. Reflect back on my nursing Korea and think about all the ways in which I kept myself stuck for over 10 years.
So here we go. Let's dive in. Now I have to caveat this podcast. There might be some noise behind me because it sounds like somebody is trying to drill through my ceiling and all four of the walls around me . So I apologize if that is what happens, but trust me, I'm safe. Don't worry about me. I know you're really, really worried.
But please don't worry. It's fine. So the first thing that I want you to think about when you're thinking about 10 ways to keep yourself stuck in nursing told you I'm having a bit of fun, is. That's right. Believe you have absolutely no options. You are 100% stuck and it's 100%.
Real and factual. If you anything like me, I told myself this, for so long I'm stuck in icu. I can't do anything else. This is what I've trained for. I can't go anywhere else who's gonna take me. All of the mind drama came up when I thought about what it could be or what it could look like if I chose to move away from where I was.
So that's number one way of how you can keep yourself stuck is believe that you have absolutely no options. I mean, come on. In a world of 9 billion people, no options for sure.
number two is tolerate bad management. , don't do it. That is one way to keep yourself stuck is to just work for an asshole. We don't need to work for assholes.
There are so many jobs out there. You do not need to tolerate bad management, bad culture, toxic behavior, bullying and harassment. Don't do that to yourself. I did it for a while and then I stepped. I talked about it before in the podcast. I had an employer who was bullying me, was telling me I wasn't good enough.
Like literally all of the things coming out of their mouth, like cray cray . She said, you're not good enough. You can't do this. My 21 year old new graduate niece is better than you. , fyi, I had like eight years experience working internationally, and she had never left Melbourne, so. Sure. Yeah, don't deal with those people.
Your mental health and wellbeing is much more valuable than working for an asshole employer. Okay? So if you wanna keep yourself stuck, , this is a bit meta. keep working for those assholes.
Number three, overwork yourself because you have to. I have to do overtime. If I don't do overtime, they'll think that I'm not interested in working here.
I used to tell myself all this absolute tripe, and it's not gonna get you anywhere other than a big fat pile of Barnett. , you are gonna feel terrible. You're gonna look terrible. You're gonna have all of the things going on in your life and you're gonna feel like you can't keep up. I really love, and I don't have the W H O burnout definition in front of me, but the W H O clarifies burnout and it talks something about like, Basically it being a characterization of people that overwork and people that do like, they create burnout for themselves.
Now I know a lot of you're gonna hate hearing that, but I found it really interesting. I'm gonna, actually, whilst we're here, we're gonna do it live. Cause I don't care. I'm gonna find the W H O burnout definition, and I'm gonna read it to you because oh, here it is. It's good. It was worth that. So they defined burnout as an occupational phenomena.
It's not classified as a medical condition, is what they say. And then they say here, burnout is a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions. Feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion take increased mental distance from one's job or feelings Negativism or cynicism related to one's job. tick, tick, tick, tick. How many ticks can we get for that? A reduced professional efficiency or efficacy. So I find that really interesting when we think about that. When I think about that from a coaching perspective, I'm like, oh, basically the W H O is telling.
That sure, like workplace stress can contribute, but basically we're just not managing it as humans. And honestly, that's what I found to be true. So whilst I spent my whole career bitching, complaining about other people not helping me and all of the things I was sitting there basically just further deepening my burnout.
don't know if that's true for you, but it was 100% true for me. And I really want you to hear that like burn is conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. That is why I don't just do your CV cover load selection criteria. We dive into your mindset.
Why? Because I want you to be able to better manage your mind so that you can manage your feelings better, so that you can enjoy the work that you've trained so hard to do. Hear me when I say this. Burnout is not a badge of honor. We all walk around like I'm burnt hard. I'm burnt hard. It's not a badge of honor.
It's actually telling people I'm ineffective at managing my own stress. Let that sing in for a minute. I thought it was too good to not share. Now, if you don't like it, that's fine. Stop listening. . That was number three, overworking yourself because you have to do it. You don't have to do anything. Okay? If you take one thing away from this podcast, you don't have to do Jack.
Number four, always allow yourself to be overlooked. Oh, that's my little phone. Allow yourself to be overlooked. Oh my goodness. Do not do this. So what, does this look like? You apply for a job, they come back to you and they say, thank you so much for applying. But you know, like, job is just better.
And this is the sixth time they've done it to you. Fyi, they haven't helped you, and by they, I mean your manager, they haven't helped you progress and develop. They haven't said, Hey, given you strategic feedback, they haven't told you to do X, Y, and Z to help you move forward. They've just come back to you and say, better luck next time.
Mm. Thanks for applying. Mm. No. That's one way to keep yourself stuck is allow yourself to keep being overlooked. If you're overlooked once, you should be moving the hell on. They don't want. Move on. Tidy yourself up, tidy up your applications, get all the things that you want and move on.
You deserve better.
Liam Caswell: The fifth way that you can keep yourself stuck in a nursing job that you hate is you can blame everyone else for why you're there. This one hurts a little it's hurting me. Even though I've left those jobs. I spent 10, 12 years blaming the world. Blaming everybody around me, my manager, my educator, my peer, even my patients, sometimes my partner, my pet rabbits, , everybody was creating my terrible results.
Everyone. I've had a lot of therapy since then. had a lot of coaching, but I want you to be serious with yourself. Are you somebody that sits there and thinks, I feel terrible because I'm working overtime because my manager said I can't too rubbish. Don't lie to yourself. That's total bullshit crap. I feel terrible because my partner didn't wash the dishes rubbish.
Another sign that we need to better learn how to manage our brain and our thoughts and call out our own brains bullshit. I have literally just spent a week doubting myself. A week being like, I can't do this. My business won't grow. All of the things, despite all of the evidence that it's doing, all of those things, it is growing.
The podcast is growing. All of my efforts are coming to fruition, but I've been doing it for bloody three years, right? Like I'm a baby, I'm a graduate nurse in this space. Really, when you think about it, but my brain automatically defaults to blaming everybody else. Think about where you're doing this in your life, in your career.
Is it serving? , is it helping you move towards your goals? Yes or no? But if you're somebody that is stuck and you're doing this, this is 100% keeping you stuck, blaming everybody else. We like to call this victim mentality. It sounds terrible, the word victim, but it it, it really resonates with me cause I was a victim for so long, a victim to my circumstances.
I thought everything around me was creating how I feel. Have you been listening to this podcast and you yet to make that connect? Things external to us or circumstances in our lives do not create how we feel. Being understaffed doesn't create a feeling of uncertainty for you or being pissed off or disappointment.
It's the thought that you have about the circumstance that creates that feeling. So let that drop might drop. Let that drop for you.
Number six, assume that your manager knows exactly what you want. What else are they doing? They're just sitting in the office thinking about you, right? ? No, they don't have a clue.
They don't take the time to have a clue. You have to inform them. You have to tell them. You have to go out of your way and say, by the way, I really want X, Y, and Z in the next three years. This is what I'm working towards. You have to put it in writing. You have to remind them every professional development plan if you get one, and if you don't, get a professional development plan.
Let's go back to the last one. Don't bitch about it. Go and make it happen. Go make, it happen. Grab a senior nurse, do your professional development plan. Did you know you actually don't have to do it at work for it to be considered something that you're working towards? You can just do it at home on your own.
you can say, this quarter I'm gonna do this. Next quarter I'm gonna do this. And hold yourself accountable and make it frigging happen. I see it all the time in the Facebook groups, wild West and Facebook. People are like, ah, yeah, I didn't get the promotion. Did you tell them? Did you tell them that you wanted the promotion?
Did you go out of your way to make it known that you were the perfect candidate? If you say no to those questions, then you assumed that they knew what you wanted and it's just one great way to stay stuck.
Number seven, kind of similar, but wait, your. , have you ever heard this? Where people say, you know what?
You should come and work here in Ed, but you've gotta wait in five years before you're promoting because you know, Jeanie's gotta go next and Betty's going after her. And then, you know, John is next. And then you've also gotta jump through the survivor of nursing. I call her you've gotta, you've got it like, Crawl along the beach.
The equivalent is like you've gotta clean the sleuths 10 times and you've gotta take off all of these things before you can do it. I laugh, I jest, but this is the reality, right? Like we're told all the time, people come to me. I was coaching an amazing nurse last week. She's a couple years into her a career.
She's an ED specialty, and I have to. . I have to wait. Everybody keeps repeating this to her. I have to wait. I have to wait. Who says you have to wait? Don't wait your turn. What, how would things change for you if you didn't wait and you just grabbed it by the balls and you just ran for it and you went for it?
What if you gotta lose? Waiting is a great way for you to stay stuck and to build resentment and to hate your career moving forward. I did it. I tell you. I sat and waited to feel. Here's the truth, you're never gonna feel rating. Okay. Put out a post this week. And it went bloody crazy because I was like, oh, hospital cleaner.
Sort of my career felt like an imposter. Next student ar student I n felt like an imposter student nurse felt like an imposter. Podcaster. Fast forward 10 years, feel like an imposter. It's always gonna be there. Don't wait for this day, that's never gonna arrive, cuz you're gonna keep yourself stuck.
Number eight is what should be versus what actually is. okay? So if you're shooting on yourself all the time, you probably feel pretty miserable. we should have more staff.
We should have more resources. It shouldn't be this way. My manager should care about me. I want you to just think about all those things that you're looking for in the external world. Are you giving them to yourself? I used to do this. People don't care. You know? They should care more about me. But guess what?
I wasn't caring for? We cannot ask for things from people that we don't give freely to ourselves. Alina Mallory says, is the happiness. She always says, you know, what does it give freely? What you give to other, give to, oh, can butcher, butcher? Give to yourself. What you so freely give to others is what she says.
It's genius is a lesson that I keep reminding, keep relearning, is that if I'm. and I'm challenging reality. It's usually because I have an unmet need that I'm not giving to myself. Okay. Think about that for you.
Number nine, remove all aspects of play in your life. I mean, come on, seriously, you're an adult.
Stop playing. This is a great way to stay stuck. I did this, so back in the day, and I actually am reconnecting to this now because I just spent a week at home in Scotland. And I went to my local amateur operatic society. Now, it's probably no surprise to all of you that I love a bit of jazz hands and I love a bit of musical theater.
I was actually the lead role a couple of years. I was in the theater group for like 10 years maybe. I did multiple productions across the region that I lived in. And it was heaps of fun, and I got to reconnect to that when I went back. So I went to watch their show, their production, and I was sitting in the audience thinking, when was the last time I did this?
Why have I stopped myself from playing? was a creative outlet for me. It allowed me to feel my feelings and to be seen and to play and to do different things. If you have removed all aspects of things that you did as a kid from your life because you're now an adult and we've gotta be serious, like I'm learning this lesson right now.
Please go out your way and reconnect with the things that used to bring you so much joy. They may no longer bring you joy, but I want you to at least allow yourself to just go there, test it out, and try it. Okay? So this is one great. To stay stuck is be like, I started nursing and I just don't have time for knitting.
Now. I really loved sewing and creating my own clothes, but I just don't have time now. That is one way to build so much resentment for your nursing career that I guarantee you in your future. You will leave nursing if that is your thought pattern, your belief, because you will just hate it so much. Or you'll just say stuck.
Say stuck. Stay stuck. Okay. So please reintroduce some aspects of play into your life.
Number 10. The last one, and we are so good at this, is nurses. And this is one really, really integral thing that I want you to hear and listen to and just let land in your little brain, you know, little precious brain
prioritizing the needs of others more than your own. Now I can hear you, but Liam, it's my job. It is our job. We do need to do this every single day, but it's even more. It's even more relevant and pertinent that we give back to ourselves more than we give to others. And it's a really hard thing to balance and manage.
No one teaches us. No one tells us, but I do believe that we get into like giving debt, right? Like we're just giving all the time. Give, give, give, give, give. Like you give it work you give at home, you're given your relationship. And then we're really bad at also taking back and allowing other people to give to us, and we're so flippant about it, and we say things like, it's my job, don't worry.
It's all good. It's my job. I want you to really think about that for you and what that looks like in your life and your career. I want you to really ask yourself, is there an imbalance between my giving and my taking? And if you're anything like me and you listen to this podcast because you're high performer, there's an imbalance, there's definitely an imbalance and it's really hard for us to receive when we don't acknowledge that we're find it difficult to take from others, whether it's just a compliment like, I want you to.
When somebody says, great work today, are you flipping like, it's just my job. Or like on a day's work that's flipping, right. We don't wanna do that. We want to open ourselves and be like, thank you so much. I appreciate that. And then you want to give to yourself what they gave to you. I, yeah, damn, you did a great job today.
I coach people on this all the time. They're like, oh, well this is part of my job. It's every day. No, you just saved somebody's. Part of your job letter is part of your job, but give yourself the acknowledgement that you need. Number 10 here, the reason that you will stay stuck in your job is that you will prioritize other people's needs and you won't give yourself what you need and you will just build this level of resentment that will just keep building in your career.
I did all of these 10 things. I'm not talking from a place of wbu and like I've read a couple of articles. This was my life. This is my lived experience. Okay. And I'm being vulnerable and sharing it with you in the hopes and efforts that your beautiful humans listening. don't do the same thing. Okay? So as much as I had a bit of fun with this today, I don't want you to stay stuck, okay?
But I want to get creative in helping you see that you might be stuck. So just to recap the 10 where I believe you have no options, number two, tolerate bad management. Work for those assholes and just keep staying. Number three, overwork yourself because you. Two. Number four, allow yourself to be overlooked for all those promotions.
Number five, blame everybody else for your circumstances. Number six, assume they know what you want. That's all they're doing. All they're thinking about is you wait your turn and wait to be noticed. Number seven. Number eight, argue with what should be versus what is. Stop arguing with reality. Number nine, remove all aspects of play in your life.
We don't get to play as adults. What are you doing? Number 10, prioritize the needs of others more than your own. If you are a beautiful high performance nurse that's been listening and any of this has resonated, I want you to send me a message and let's have a chat. Let's just. Chatted out any questions that you have, queries.
If you want coaching on something that's come up, I can coach you in the dms. Let's have a little chat. Reach out to me. I love, love hearing from you guys. Got a message this week from someone that said, Lima, listen to your podcast. And you've helped me realize that I do have options. This kind of was inspired a little bit by that, but they said, I do have options.
I've just left my job and I've found myself a new, amazing job where I get to empower student nurses. I love that so much. Anything is possible in your nursing career. You can stay in nursing, you can leave it, you can do whatever you want. But whilst you believe all of these 10 things that I've told you about today are true and factual, you will stay stuck, my friend, and I don't want anybody to be stuck.
So if you want to discuss how we can get you unstuck in your nursing career, reach out to. Let's have a chat and like to explore what is possible for you in your nursing career. You can book a call with me, the link in the show notes. They're free. Come and have a chat. I love connecting.
There is no commitment, no pressure to do anything other than explore you and your awesomeness. I will see you on that call. See you next time.
